They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
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