What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize
