she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Randomize
