I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
Randomize
