Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
Randomize
