I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Randomize
