Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
