Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Randomize
