So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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