i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Randomize
