fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
Randomize
