I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
