Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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