no, he came in my armpit
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
