I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
I have demons in me.
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
In America we eat man semen.
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize
