Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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