...so i touched it.
Little spoons don't ask big questions
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
Randomize
