All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
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