guys are not supposed to queef...right?
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
Randomize
