I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
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