Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
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