imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
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