A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
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