you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
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