Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
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