Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
Randomize
