haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
That accounts for only three of the penises
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
Randomize
