You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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