Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
