I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
