I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
Randomize
