After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
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