just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
