i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
I'm just crazy horny about you
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
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