Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
Randomize
