Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
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