dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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