she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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