Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
