I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
Randomize
