Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
Randomize
