The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
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