Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
