so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
Randomize
