Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
I left my keys in the garlic bread freezer in Publix.
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
Boobs speak an international language.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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