This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
Randomize
