Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize
