Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Randomize
