he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
