the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Randomize
