My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
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