He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
I got chris browned last night
the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
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