Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Randomize
